Monday, December 5, 2011

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. - Kristone

"A well-used Bible that is falling apart usually belongs to a person who isn't..."

Turn that quote around and you have me...

I once again am not able to sleep (I haven't been able to for a good 4 nights now) My mind starts going into overdrive at night, most of my best ideas are born at midnight, problems are solved and books are written (yeah right! :-s)
One of the struggles I've had this past week has been insignificance...pretty intense feelings too.
I often wonder what I'm called to do and if I'm even anywhere close to doing it. I feel very frustrated, that I'm in a place right now in life, where I'm the one who seems to be in need all the time. But somehow never gets the chance to help others out as much I see them helping me. Hence the feelings of insignificance and major mooching...ugh...sigh
I often ask God why he can't give us a little extra so we can help others out too. And I can go on about all the negative feelings that come from that including anger...oh how I can dwell on the oh so very insignificant details lol If I over think I even start throwing myself a pity party and depression follows close behind.

I can go on like this for hours even days before I finally can see somewhat clearly...sad isn't confirms my human nature (at it's best!) "I fall apart"
So that of course brings me to my beginning part of this blog...

"A well-used Bible that is falling apart usually belongs to a person who isn't..."

exactly!!! read it again...yep you got problem is solved! all this moping for this simple but yet so frustratingly hard solution...I don't really like the word solution in this context since a solution is mostly a temporary fix, this however is to be grasped as a life altering change. but I have the hardest time breaking my worst habits and to find the time to open this wondrous book that holds the key to my failing relationship with my savior. yes failing due to my "lack" of time and honestly...discipline...I have become as flavorless as old salt..and you know what the bible says about that right? will be cast out.
I don't want to be cast out and honestly want to serve with all my heart.
It all lies in my reach and it's my decision, God has made it clear what He wants me to do...and that is spending time with Him in His word. I can't expect Him to give me everything when I can't even take the time of day to open His word. The pastor gave this story in his sermon and it stuck with me...he said "I told my kids to have the lawn mowed by Friday afternoon, I explained what needed to be done they nodded their heads in understanding. Friday came around and the boys had not even started yet. I approached them and asked why the lawn had not yet been mowed...the boys responded that they had just absolutely Loved hearing me ask and were just touched by the way they heard me ask them to mow the lawn, they just were touched by my choice of words and were even brought the the brink of tears...And they told me they just loved that I took the time to tell them what to do. I stopped them and looked at them astonished and asked them again WHY they hadn't mowed the lawn?" we are like that when we talk to God and spend time at church...we hear what God has to say and are even touched and sometimes brought to tears because of the message yet never get around to actually doing it. That is a hard lesson I am learning now...
Before i can even help anyone else I need to get right myself and i can do that by picking up my bible and spending time with god otherwise I am just flying with a blindfold and am not much of a help to anybody...

Another thing that bothered me was:
Things have become more important than people, Americans spent close to 74million dollars on buying gum alone in one year yet missions throughout all the protestant churches in the states only raised less than half of that in a year...sad...and i am one to blame...Do I care about people or just about what stuff I need for the house?

This compelled me to make a change this Christmas
This Christmas we are dropping presents and instead of us getting things we are going to give things...we have decided to support a military unit in Afghanistan this Christmas, the unit consist of 4 marines and they are based out of North Carolina. they are overseas now and will be during the holidays as well. We are going to start a box for them soon and hopefully get it sent out in time for Christmas!

If you are interested in doing something like this please visit this site and start a box for a soldier ;-)
Pray for the box before you send it and make sure that God speaks to thru you ;-)

This is my soldier!!! so proud of him and I love him he has been the reason behind my smile ;-)

So my advice to myself and others is always start your day with Him, talk to Him and take the time to listen to what He wants you to do, always read and spend time getting to know your Savior! He gave everything up for's the least you can do!!!

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

God Bless

1 comment:

  1. Maria, I had the same issue about a month ago. My problem was that I was always waiting for the "perfect" time to get my devotions done. The kids would be napping, the laundry would be folded, and the bathrooms clean. Ha! Like that ever happens, right?! So I decided that I would never have the "perfect" devotional time where I could really dig deep into God's Word. I'd starve myself spiritually if I waited for eveything to be just right. Instead, I have decided that I need to do my devos whenever I can. That might mean the boys actually are awake an playing, but there are worse things than a child seeing his Mama read her Bible! Learning that I had to settle for the "good" devo time instead of the "perfect" devo time has really jumpstarted my spiritual walk again.

    I don't know if that is your issue, but I wanted to share my recent struggle and how the Lord helped me overcome it.