"Today has been a....HORRIBLE day, I was sooo tired and just couldn't get out of bed. My face feels swollen and I feel like i'm in the depths of despair...Pregnancy SUCKS!!!!!"
Yuck yuck and yuck... I was confronted today on how horrible I sounded...yes granted it was a bad day and I did feel pretty crappy, but this was no reason to act as if I was dying and the whole wide world was falling down (it's not...far from it!)
Today after going to a women's prayer time I felt totally convicted of my selfish attitude (I struggle with that a lot!). I needed a good positive change in my way of life.
There are a couple of awesome blogs I follow that have cute little names for the days of the week, for example...
Temptation Tuesdays By The doctorate Housewife - It's about food don't worry (for those of you already going there)She shares some awesome recipes and things she is learning in the kitchen, things her doctorate degree didn't teach her (she is also a good friend)
Worship Wednesdays By Women's Bible Cafe - An online bible study for women who don't have a chance to go to a bible study in person, or for women who need extra spiritual food.
Wordless Wednesday is everywhere
Thankful Thursdays By the Cash Crew - Follow this amazing family as they follow God's calling to work and serve on the Mercy Ships. She faithfully shares her thankful thoughts on Thursday. A blessing to be sure!
These are just a few I'm sure you can find TONS of blogs that dive into "the name of the week" game ;-) I don't blame them, it keeps them accountable to write or share something on a certain if not all the days of the week.
So as you might have already guessed, I'm going to be diving into this cute craze (or try to). As I said above 'm ashamed of my attitude, I'm hoping this weekly schedule will help me focus on that said attitude. I can't promise to write every day let alone every week. But it might keep me on track. So here is my week:
Meaningful Monday: I'll be sharing something I've learned or something that stuck with me. It might be from my devos or bible reading, or something a friend sent me...you get the picture right?! Please feel free to send in meaningful thoughts or things that stuck out to you ;-)
Thankful Tuesday: I'll give you a list of things I'm thankful for. And things God might be doing in my life.
Worship Wednesday: I will share a good song or worship video that stood out to me. Everyone needs some uplifting songs or messages.
Thursday Treats: I'll share a recipe that I have made lately, just like I ussually do.
Friday Favorites: I have a huge favorites list for my blogs that I follow, they cover everything from food to crafts. I will share my favorites and the links to go with it. And believe me I have a lot...I just don't have the time to make or complete them all.
Sincere Saturdays: I will be totally honest on these days and will probably vent and go through my week in preparation of Sunday. My thoughts are my own but you are very welcome to share your opinions, just understand I'm just venting not looking for a cure ;-)
Silent Sunday: I will be...yep...you guessed it...silent, this will be my personal prayer and silent time of the week if you want to know more about searching for silence I highly recommend this book..."Invitation to Solitude and Silence - Ruth Haley Barton"
Well I have started re-writing this blog entry three times now...I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words on paper or even in the computer. I have taken the advice of some very wise women in my life my mother being one of them. I was encouraged to think of a "God Story" in my life, a time where God stepped in and took full control and changed my situation and life for the good. My mother encouraged me to write stories like that down.so here goes...this particular story has not yet finished and like most events in my life will most likely not evolve and progress anywhere close to my idea or planning (thank God for that right?!) anyways my story actually will start with an amazing story check it out:
The title of this blog entry is the title of my lesson in our bible study book "women of the covenant"
The story we are told to read is the story of "the needy widow" (no...not needy as in whining but needy as in, in utter distress") I find that a lot of times when I read the bible and I know the story, my mind tends to slow down and take the story word for word...when I do that I miss out on true feelings that are found behind the characters and events. The bible is not the most "emotional" book and it was definitely written by men lol If a women had written the bible we would have had a far larger book that might not even fit on your shelf due to all the emotions added in to the story...can you imagine what Jesus birth story aka the Christmas story would have been like if it had been written by, lets say Mary herself? a whole different story. I have found it very helpful to read the bible and imagine the said person in the story was me...how would I feel in that precise situation? it becomes clear to me that all the people in the bible where just that people...with very similar emotions to mine. The stories become very real to me as they portray how God uses those who are willing and gives them the strength and courage they need.
But all this to lead to the story I read today (actually reread we had covered this in Sunday school). You can find the story in 2 Kings 4:1-7 (just click to read)
Here is a short film on the story: (there are a couple things that I don't quite agree with in this movie clip, the story is correct but I wish they had put emphasis on God doing the miracle and not Elisha. Elisha had told the widow to collect all the pots she could gather and to return to her house and close the door behind her...the miracle that followed was only witnessed by the mother and her sons, it was a direct miracle and gift from God. Elisha was only the messenger.)
The story is a remarkable one if you let the true emotions get to you. that's why I wanted to post the video because it shows more emotion. We (meaning mostly me) turn to this story for comfort in our own situations, and I'm sure that is why the story is in the bible to show us the God always takes care of those who trust in Him. But I tend to feel like I'm right there with her (women in the story)..."I'm in soooo much trouble things just can't get any worse...you just don't understand...I don't know if I can handle this anymore...God please save me...this is too much...how am I going to get out of this?" and on and on and on...sound familiar? sadly these are things I have said in the past week (hangs head in shame).
The widows situation:
Husband died
No food
Massive debts
Sons are being threatened to go into slavery
Most likely looked down on by others
No money
My situation:
I still have my husband
I have food
I don't have any debts that are due and bills are paid
My sons are staying right here with me
I'm hopefully not looked down on by others
The only thing I have in common with her is no money (at the moment)
My situation all at once becomes very insignificant in comparison to hers. I can't imagine what it would feel like to lose my husband, money, food...and then possibly losing my kids to slavery...utter despair comes to mind as a feeling I would have. But this remarkable widow does one incredible thing that blows me away...very simple...she puts her trust completely in God.
Trust is not a new word to me and often you will find me saying it "oh I'm just trusting God"...but sadly it has become a phrase to frequently used and hardly ever truly applied.
So here comes the reason for me writing this blog entry and tying the "God story" and the "Writing it down" together. I have been truly touched by this story and it has taught me something about myself...I do not trust near enough.When troubles come my way I tend to take control while telling myself that I am trusting God.
So with this blog entry I'm not going to pout and be sad about my situation. And honestly I have been at peace since reading this story and understanding God's promise. So this is by no means a pity party and I am NOT asking for anything, please understand that. What I truly want to portray here is how God provides for His children. I hope that it may encourage you in the end and show that God really does provide.
My "God story" starts with me finding out we have absolutely no money in the bank, actually we are under...and don't get paid for another week. fear was definitely one of the emotions I felt..."how are we going to pay for gas, food...?" I'm sure a lot of you can imagine the feeling. This is where the story of the needy widow came into the picture. I had already been praying how I could use my blog to encourage others and lately it has just been an online recipe book, not what I was going for...My first plan for the blog was to be an encouragement to other women, showing them that you can do so many things even on food stamps and a limited budget, and to be an honest look at my life and it's struggles. but it hasn't been that...my apologies for that!
So welcome to the begining of my "God story" it has only begun and I honestly don't know how God is going to work but I am excited and curious at the same time! I will be posting and updating this post as God provides...Watch the Almighty God do wondrous things :-) and I am fully aware that God's plan might not be to get me out of this hard time and His plan very well might be for me to deeper. but I won't just be blogging about the material blessings but also the all the things He will be teaching me. I am human and I will try to be as honest as I can with everything that comes my way good or bad.
I hope you will be as encouraged as I am right now and that this can show you what an awesome God is capable of if only given the permission to do so.(I had to let go of a lot of things and confess a ton of sins and will continue to have to do that day in day out...)
Again this is not a plea for help and if you want to contribute please do so by just pray ;-)
feel free to comment I would love to hear your feedback ;-)
Love you all,
SATURDAY November 5th 2011:
WOW!!! The day is not even over yet and our first blessing arrived! God is truly amazing! My husband and I are awestruck! We were given a $100 today in the form of a walmart gift card. This will take care of diapers and wipes and gas for our car. God, thank you so much and please help us continue to trust in you and stay humble. all glory and honor to you!
This evening I remembered my camera (I had saved and sold a lot of my stuff to afford a digital SLR camera for my picture taking a year ago, it had some minor problems with it and was under warranty so I had sent it in to be repaired) that I had sent in to be repaired nearly a month ago, the geek squad had assured me the repairs would only take 2 weeks at most. It had been a month and no word! I called them wanting to know the status of my repair. This is what ended up happening in a nutshell; they had sent the fixed camera to the wrong address (my old address) I had proof that I had changed my address before sending the said camera back. Their fault they acclaimed and they set out to retrieve the camera, they couldn't retrieve it and promptly gave me a brand new nikon dslr camera. cool right! Well the "lost" camera has been found and was returned to me. So now I have two fully functional expensive camera's in my possession. I know this might not be considered a blessing that will help my situation but it is a blessing in itself, best buy had said this has only happened one other time where the company sent a repair to the wrong address after a clear address change. I don't feel right selling it but I know a couple of people who could really use a good camera. So with that said not only did God provide for our family but He has also provided more so our family can give to others! I'm praying to see where God wants me to use this camera as a blessing ;-)
SUNDAY November 6th 2011:
Today we were invited to visit our old church and to attend their service, we had figured it would be a good time to catch up and rekindle and fix some relationships (long story). We ended up leaving the church with a very generous gift to pay for our gas out there! God is good! Thank you so much (You know who you are ;-) !!) Not only did it pay for our gas but it will get us through probably an additional half a week ;-) Even in the most uncomfortable and hard situations God can reach through. And even though we were not able to fix everything we set out to God still encouraged us! I hope you have a very blessed and encouraging Sunday!
MONDAY November 7th 2011:
Monday started off really bad and frustrating (Yes I stumbled) ever have those mornings where you just seem like staying in bed all day and crying? Monday tends to do that to me...oh wait you too??? OK so it's not just me! I tell you I had it bad this Monday...frustrated, moody and down right grumpy...had to get up praying for patience and grace! took the boys to the MC Donalds down the road to play in the play ground, we took our breakfast with us since we had no actual change or money just gift cards. It so happened that nobody was there and it gave me some time to talk to God while the kids played. I felt a little better and decided I really just needed to pound the frustrations away...so since I work at a gym I have a free membership...off to the gym we went. the kids did great in the daycare. and I got a full two hours of heavy workout done (man I was frustrated lol) I walked out feeling better and God and i had a good one on one when I was working out. Went home to find a letter in the mail from a good very loving friend who had been supporting us monthly. we hadn't heard from her in a while but today we received a letter and a $20 check...wow Thank you God! Even when my pea-sized human brain freezes on me and I am in the foulest of moods God still cares enough for me to bless me. I should say my head hung in shame for about 5min then my heart thanked God for the provision. God is good and we have been taken care of.
WEDNESDAY November 9th 2011:
Today I was able to sell some stuff for a total of $250...not only was it sold but it was sold to a family going into ministry. I talked to them for awhile and they told me he had come from law enforcement and was going to Romania with his family for missions. Wow it was amazing to hear their story and to talk to them...I'm glad my items for sale were sold to them and hopefully they will continue to use them for God's Glory. I thought it was quite interesting that my husband went from being a pastor to a cop and here this man was a cop and now a pastor! God works in great ways...BUT good news...WE ARE NO LONGER UNDER in the bank!!!!!!!!! but I will continue to write about the things that happen...;-) thank you so much for your prayers and comments! you are much loved!
Thanksgiving week:
I had promised to keep you updated on new blessings, I haven't forgotten and WOW has God delivered! and truthfully I do not deserve any of them!
One BIG change in our situation is that I quit my job! this is a BIG step and a very scary one, but one I felt God telling me to take that step. I won't go into details as to why I quit.
I don't know how we will make it on only Justin's salary, but it has put us in a place where we are trusting God together and forced to make wiser decisions. A lot of household products are being made by hand and I am actually having a blast figuring it all out. But the fear is still lurking and it will be a daily struggle.
But I just cannot ignore all the awesome blessings brought our way after I made the decision to quit my job. The peace I had after I made the decision about my job was backed by a flow of blessings, most of them were things we had been praying for ;-) I am very happy to announce that I now have a new oven...YAY!!!!! and it doesn't stop there...I have a new kitchen floor...AND YES AND a new garage door! I am overwhelmed! these were all things we had been praying for. All in time for thanksgiving!
In addition to those blessings I think the biggest blessing was the generosity of friends and family, we had some very good friends of us donate a generous gift card to us, this just blows me way! wow I just pray God blesses them in abundance! also my sisters came up for thanksgiving it was a very good time and I must say they were more of a blessing to me than ever! the kids had an amazing time with them and I was able to get a rest! thank you very much to all who were a blessing! (you know who you are ;-)...)
The weeks up till Christmas:
I have not been updating as much as I had promised...sorry for that :-(
I might not actually be able to update on everything that has happened. We have been blessed immensely! Since I gave up my job, we were worried how we would make it through. But God has taken care of us like He promised. We have received numerous checks for Christmas, a couple walmart gift cards and loads of little blessings from friends. The best gift of all was my parents, parents-in-law and sister who came up to visit and support Justin at his graduation. We had an awesome time with them, they were an immense blessing. Family is one the best blessings God has given us. And I miss them dreadfully.
My husband graduated and is now starting his job, it takes some time to get use to him leaving the house with a loaded gun and a uniform (sexy as it is lol) but I'm grateful for a good job and a consistent one at that.
We have decided to give up presents this year and donate the money toward gift boxes that will be sent to Afghanistan to help a unit of 4 marines who are stationed there. these are the boxes all ready and now sent ;-)
we each gave our Christmas presents to one marine hence the four boxes, so excited!
